When Yitzchak prayed for Rivka to have a child, the word used in the verse for his prayer is [1]וַיֶּעְתַּ֨ר, translated commonly as he entreated Hashem in prayer.
וַיֶּעְתַּ֨ר יִצְחָ֤ק לַֽיהוָה֙ לְנֹ֣כַח אִשְׁתּ֔וֹ כִּ֥י עֲקָרָ֖ה הִ֑וא וַיֵּעָ֤תֶר לוֹ֙ יְהוָ֔ה וַתַּ֖הַר רִבְקָ֥ה אִשְׁתּֽוֹ
Yitzchak pleaded with Hashem on behalf of his wife,
because she was barren; and Hashem responded to his plea,
and his wife Rebekah conceived.
Rashi defines וַיֶּעְתַּ֨ר as he prayed much (הרבה בתפילה) and with a sense of urgency[2].
The Radak also uses this definition of him praying alot, or extensively, הרבה בתפילה asking Hashem for his wife Rifka to have a child. He then says some things I find fascinating.
- He explains that he davened so hard for his wife to have a child because he loved her so much, as she was especially beloved by her husband, he had an אהבה יתירה for her.
- Because he loved her so, he did not want to take another woman to have a child instead of her, nor did he consider taking any of Rivka’s handmaids.
- He did not pray with concern of himself becoming a father, but instead focused on her
- He prayed facing his wife so he could direct his heart on her.
For these reasons he kept on davening until Hashem responded to his davening and she became pregnant.
Some of the components of his prayer.
- Yitzchak’s prayer was persistent, and he worked at it.
What I find so interesting about his prayer is that number one; Chazal are telling us that he davened, and davened and davened “עד שנעתר לו האל”, until The Source of all powers responded to his tefillah, and she became pregnant. He didn’t just daven one time to Hashem and ask, he kept asking.
I am learning from this is that prayer is not something one can say, “I davened” and therefore I have done my duty. Yitzchak role modeled a prayer that is continuous, much like the definition of someone who seeks “shleimus”, commonly translated as perfection, but in reality, it is a seeking to attach to Hashem that has no end.
There are times when I have wondered if davening so much for something can indicate a lack of faith in Hashem. The Radak is telling us no. Yitzchak was persistent in his davening and did not relent until he actually saw his wife become pregnant. I do not think he needed to see her become pregnant to trust in the power of his prayer to Hashem; but instead, all the while she was not pregnant, he used that vacuum as the seeming “chaser”, lacking as an opportunity to daven to Hashem.
- Yitzchak davened so hard because of his special love for Rivka and stood opposite her so he could concentrate on her.
I am wondering if the Radak is telling us that in order to be able to pray in such a way, davening so hard continually is when there is love as a motivator. Perhaps the key for a great tefillah requires love, and therefore perhaps the real work is perhaps to work on loving the person we are davening for. Perhaps when one really takes the time to see what the other person needs and works at it, it engenders love. Perhaps the best preparation of davening would be to develop a special love for the person we are davening for, as a moment of “Kieesh Echad B’leiv Echad” . I suppose we would really have to understand his “extra love of Rivka” to help us better use this strategy when we daven. Was it his ability to see her, and see her even more than she was able to?
Since it is clear that Yitzchak Avinu davened a lot in this case “until Hashem responded with pregnancy”, it would not be logical to think he literally stood opposite her in the same room all the time. I think perhaps he was tuned into her so much that she was present with him as his constant so he could concentrate and have a Kavana of heart when he davened.
- Yitzchak davened לנכח אשתו (on behalf of his wife)
There is more to this state of standing לנכח אשתו (on behalf of his wife) I would like to understand what this really means, as I think if we understood this, it can be a key to teaching us how to remain connected to daven with our hearts for another.
In fact, there are far reaching ramifications to this concept.
Rashi explains it as “He stood in one corner and prayed whilst she stood in the other corner and prayed”. This is based on a Medrash that explains that each davened to Hashem asking for children from such a Tzadik, and Tzadekes[3].
It appears to me that each davened to Hashem advocating for the other, and seeing the highest in the other, and that was what they wanted, a depiction of “וְאָֽהַבְתָּ֥ לְרֵעֲךָ֖ כָּמ֑וֹךָ” , Love your friend as yourself, a Mitzvah that seems to be foundational to prayer. And is a foundation of Torah. [4]
It seems as if this ability to advocate for the highest in each other is a key ingredient of a successful prayer.
- He davened for his wife to become pregnant without considering alternatives.
The Radak explains that it was because of his deep love for Rivka that he did not consider alternative means of having a child.
It seems almost as if he went to Hashem demanding this for Rivka, and no other method was acceptable to him. Usually I hear people say things, like “Im Yirtzah Hashem”, or whatever Hashem wants. Over here, he said no to alternatives and was focused on what he wanted until Hashem gave it to him.
I think this is reflective of a real relationship with Hashem. It was not one-sided. I find this prayer of Yitzchak so beautiful when thinking of it in this way.
I do wonder if he was relying on a Halacha when he approached Hashem this way. Is there a Halacha that allows someone to disregard alternatives that are available in the nature of the world, and to insist on a different outcome?
- Yitzchak davened with a sense of urgency.
According to Rashi, Yitzchak davened for this child with a sense of urgency before The Ribono Shel Olam.
To me, it is such a priceless gift to have our Avos and Imahos as true role models, to which we can turn to and find diamonds, and discover so much about prayer.
May we all be zoche to see the redemption quickly as a culmination of the infinite urgent davenings of Klal Yisroel for such an existence!
[1] Beraishit, 25:21
[2] Rashi on 25:21, ויעתר. הִרְבָּה וְהִפְצִיר בִּתְפִלָּה
[3] וְאוֹמֵר רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם כָּל בָּנִים שֶׁאַתָּה נוֹתֵן לִי יִהְיוּ מִן הַצַּדֶּקֶת הַזּוֹ, אַף הִיא אָמְרָה כֵּן, כָּל בָּנִים שֶׁאַתְּ עָתִיד לִתֵּן לִי יִהְיוּ מִן הַצַּדִּיק הַזֶּה. Beraishis Rabba 63:5
[4] Rabbi Akiba said: “This is a fundamental principle of the Torah” (Sifra, Kedoshim, Chapter 4 12; Talmud Yerushalmi Nedarim 9:3).
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Michal
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Neil Wernick